Vacationing and Coaching in Peru

[George Payan]

Every other year my wife (Peruvian) we vacation in Lima, Peru, in South America. This was last year in November we stayed three months until January, 2024. While I'm vacationing, one other sprint coach is training the athletes until I get back.

My wife visits her school friends and relatives and we stayed with her brother (Martin) and his wife (Lily). I kept busy with my time by volunteering coaching. Maybe returning back sooner to coach with an offer position, starting in January, 2025. More information written below.

I have a sense of humor, I like to laugh. Laughter can keep you healthy. Research has found both short and long-term benefits: Laughter can increase oxygen to the heart, lungs and muscles, and increase the endorphins that are released by your brain, improve your mood and reduce physical pain. My friend, Doug asked me to share my vacationing experiences with you:

One evening in November. I went out shopping, I saw something at a shop, in Lima, that caught my eyes to give to my wife, Silvia who walks in the streets in the cities of Peru. What I came across was a very strong voltage, pocket sized tazer. The effect of the tazer is supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing Silvia adequate time to retreat to safety. Long story short, I bought the device and brought it to Martin ( brother-in-law) and Lily’s (sister-in-law) apartment (condo). Loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I' d get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. AWESOME! Okay, so I was alone in Lily’s office, a psychologist, with this new defender, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right?

There I sat in the recliner while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out. I'm thinking I have to zap something for a fraction of a second. But, if I was going to give this thing to Silvia, to protect herself against a mugger, I want some assurance that it would work. Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and the tazer in another and feeling miserable with pain in my mouth (I just had a root canal infection) stomach pain and diarrhea after taking antibiotics. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst causes muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; and a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. All the while I'm looking at this device measuring about 6" long, less than 6 inches in circumference; thinking to myself, no possible way! What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best ... I'm sitting here alone in Lily’s office, reasoning that a one second burst, couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for the heck of it. I touched the prongs to my thigh, pushed the button, and ...HOLY MOTHER… WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION . . .

I'm pretty sure Dave Bautista ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on a fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs! Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a tazer, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor! A three second burst would be considered conservative! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the room. My bent reading glasses were on the top of the desk next to the computer 12 feet away. The recliner was upside down and about 6 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still on fire and twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 30 lbs... I had no control over the drooling. Apparently I had crapped in my shorts, but was too numb to know for sure, and my sense of smell was gone. I saw smoke come out of both ends. That was wild. P.S. If you think education is difficult, try being nuts, crazy, or insane. But I'm not illogical, irrational or senseless. I have been called, eccentric and a rebel.

The club where I was volunteering, before I departed to return home in January, I was asked by a board member if I would like to join the staff, a position and start coaching next year from January to December. I had the opportunity in Lima, to visit the Olympic training center and another training venue near the coast of Peru. I was told that Lima, Peru, will be hosting the Pan-American Games in 2027 at the Olympic Stadium in Lima. The one board member told me, that they will be having elections and electing a new director and a new budget. The board member for sure told me we will let you know in July or August to offer a coaching position and a contract.

I'm thinking back, I had a great and wonderful experience in my childhood period and high school years and prayed to my creator everyday, I prayed for knowledge and understanding to guide me to my life's mission. I will still be praying for guidance, I am a Teacher/Coach, of students-athletes, leading them onward and upward.